The Cows in Your Stomach
by Halo The Not Mongoose
Summary: After a series of events in a bathroom, Ed and Al find out there are cows in everybody's stomach.[Crack fic]
1. Ed was recievin' his bacon

**Why hallo thar. For those of you who don't know, I'm Halo, or Hali, depending on where you know me.**

**...Or Haley.**

**But that doesn't matter.**

**Anyways, THIS FIC IS WEIRD.**

**IT WILL MAKE YOUR BRAIN EXPLODE! If Scar doesn't get to you first.**

**And also, I will constantly need suggestions. So review with ideas.**

**YES, I CAN PUT YOU IN AS A GUEST.**

**Oh, and so you know, Al is human in this.**

**Because I say so.**

**--------------**

"Al...Aaaalllll...AL!" Ed shouted, currently in the stall of a bathroom in a McDonalds. Some of the other people there turned to look at the stall.

"Yes, Brother?" Al said, sweetly, putting ketchup on his lips and making kissy faces in the mirror.

"There's no toilet paper in here..." Ed whispered.

"What do you want me to do about it, Brother?" Al said, now giving himself a ketchup-y mustache.

"Go get some for me?"

"But Brotherrrr...I'm busy..."

"...I'll buy you a tub of lard, and sixteen ketchup packets..."

"Well, in that case...Sure!" Al said, wiping his face off on the closest person's sleeve, walking into an empty stall, and throwing the roll of toilet paper to his brother.

"Whew, thanks Al!" Ed said. After a couple of seconds, flushing noises, and messing with the lock on the door, Ed came out.

"Brother! You're back! I MISSED YOU!" Al said, squeezing the short out of his brother...Just kidding.

"Okay, okay...I missed you too. Now lemme wash my hands!" Ed said, pushing his brother off, and going over to the sinks.

After washing his hands thoroughly with soap, Because hygine is important, kids. He turned on the dryer.

"...Hehee, Al, look at this. The directions look like it says, 'Push button, recieve bacon.'"

"THEN WHERE IS THE BACON?! AND WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE BEEEEF!?" Al said, now shaking the machine.

"The beef turned back into cows. Darn those creatures...Making MILK!" Ed sniffled.

"Then I have cows in my stomach?"

"Yes, everybody does...For that is...The meaning of life itself." Ed said, as Al started crying.

**--------------**

**Well...That's the first chapter.**

**Written in like...An hour.**

**Maybe less.**

**And I know its short.**

**Like somebody I know...Cough**

**Anyways, byeee for now! Runs off before Ed can kill me**


	2. Roy never loved mushrooms

**'Kay, so this is the continuation of the last chapter...Which was the first chapter...BUT ANYWAY!**

**WHOOO!**

**And for some reason, my computer doesn't let me do astericks. Or whatever they're called.**

**Disclaimer: Hali does'nt own FMA in anyway.**

**Soooo...Anyways, on with the chapter!**

**--------------**

Roy Mustang was in the stall of a bathroom in the military.

Having a staring contest with the toilet. A few seconds after, Roy burst out of the bathroom, and into his office where Al was smiling sweetly. And very creepily.

"Al...Why is there a tub of lard and sixteen ketchup packets in my toilet?" Colonel Useless asked.

"Um..." Al cutely bit his finger and looked at the ceiling innocently. "Riza did it?" He said, pointing to a dark corner where mushrooms seemed to be cultivating...

"WHY ARE THERE MUSHROOMS IN MY OFFICE?!" Roy screamed, as a chibi Riza came out of the corner, with overalls, a farmers hat, and a watering pail on.

"I'm growing them, sir." She said, with a blank look on her face. "I thought they could keep you company while you worked."

Suddenly the mushrooms popped up from the ground, and attacked Roy.

"YOU NEVER LOVED USSSS!" The mushrooms screamed.

"_AAAAAHHHH! NOOOO THE MUSHROOOOMSSS!"_ Screamed Roy, waking up from a hideous nightmare. He sighed, and thought, _Phew...Just a dream..._ When suddenly! He felt a hand poke his shoulder.

"Baby, whats wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" Roy froze. Then slowly turned over to see Al, rather naked, and lying next to him in the bed. Roy turned back to where he was lying on his back.

"Roy, baby, you stole all the blankets again...I'm cold..." Al said, tugging at Roy's blankets.

"_AAAAHHHHH!" _Roy woke up at his desk, drooling on multiple sheets of paper. He sat up in his chair and sighed, glad that it was only a dream...Until...

KABLAM!!

Ed punched Roy right in the gut, screaming, "TAKE THAT, YOU EVIL MILK PRODUCING COWSSSS!" then running out into the halls, punching everybody, who just happened to be near him, in the stomach.

**--------------**

**Hehehehee, torturing Roy is fun. **

**And the Al scenes made it oh-so worthwhile...**

**...What? I'm an Al fangirl at heart...It hurt to write the RoyAl scene...**

**Anyways, 'till next chapter, SEEE YAAAS!**


	3. MUDKIPSSSS!

**Yeah...Still no reviews, and on the third chappie...**

**BUT LUCKLEH! I have more ideas.**

**Hali doesn't own Pokemon, FMA, Dr. Pepper, that funny FF flash, or Al's pants in anyway. I wish I did own all of these, though...**

**Oh, and slight RoyRiza in this chap.**

**------------**

It was a beautiful day for Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye...It was their day off from the military, and Roy had asked Riza out to a picnic lunch...

They sat on a big green hillside, eating sammiches and drinking soda. The birds chirped, and everything was quiet...

WHEN SUDDENLY.

"REEEEDDDDAAAAAWWWWNNNN!" Ed shouted, interrupting their picnic from the top of a giant mudkip. Al came over, riding on his mudkip. "REEDDAAAWWNN! AND GO ARMOR ARMY!" He shouted, his mudkip poking Roy.

"WHAT THE HELL, FULLMETAL?!" Roy shouted at them. Ed looked at him with puppy eyes from the top of his mudkip.

"We...Wanted to go for a walk in the park..." Ed said, as fake tears ran down his brothers face.

"Then whats with those...Chimeras?" Roy asked.

"NO! " Ed shouted. "They aren't chimeras, they are mudkips, and not created in anyway. Exept by Nintendo and GameFreak." Ed said, hugging his mudkips nose. "...Her name is Tulip."

Riza reached out her hand to pet Al's, when his bit her hand off. "RIZA, NOOO!" Roy shouted.

"RIZA...I AM YOUR FATHER..." Al's mudkip boomed.

"No...Don't you read the manga? My daddy is dead." Riza said sweetly, ignoring the fact that her hand was spurting blood everywhere.

"Oh, right then..." Al's mudkip said, then toppled over, dead. Al got off, and went over to pet Tulip.

Tulip ate his pants.

-SOMEWHERE IN TULIPS STOMACH...-

**"YES! I FINALLY GOT AL'S PANTS! BWAHAHA!" A certain Al fangirl shouted. "NOW, MY ARMY OF MUDKIPS, WE SHALL RULE!" **

-BACK OUTSIDE TULIPS STOMACH...-

"...Did you hear that?" Al asked his brother, and everybody else around.

"Nope." They all replied, as Riza's hand magically healed.

"Oh well...Brother, now I need new pants, lets go shopping!" He looked at Ed happily.

"MARY KATE AND ASHLEY STYLE!" Ed shouted, unknown to him, because he said that, a tv store was being destroyed by a talking cactus. "GET ON, BROTHAAA!" Ed yelled, making Roy deaf. Al got onto Ed's mudkip, and rode away.

INTO THE SUNSET.

"Well...I'm gonna go home now..." Riza said, magically teleporting away.

"...What?" Roy said, for he was now deaf.

--------------

**Yup, I finally got out of the mudkip later, but unfortunatly, Al's pants melted in Tulip's stomach.**

**; - ;**


	4. TCIYS, AIM style!

**Yaaay! Fourth chappie! Thanks much for reviewing, Lexi!**

**I'ma use your idea for this chapter. By the way, Ed is HawtTallGuy92, Al is ManamixAl, and Roy is NOTaMushroomx.**

**Some other guests may come in later.**

**And I swear, Roy DOES look like a mushroooooom.**

**---------------**

**HawtTallGuy92: **Has entered the room

**ManamixAl: **Has entered the room

**NOTaMushroomx: **Has entered the room

**HawtTallGuy92: **Al? ...Who's Manami? And I thought your name was KittenBoy48.

**ManamixAl: **...Somebody said that KittenBoy48 sounded girly, so I chose this one.

**HawtTallGuy92: **...Manami?

**ManamixAl: **...

**NOTaMushroomx: **Fullmetal, please explain why I'm here.

**HawtTallGuy92: **We're gonna RPPPPP!

**NOTaMushroomx: **...RP what?

**HawtTallGuy92: **FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!

**NOTaMushroomx: **...Can I be Riza?

**Royisamushroom24: **Has entered the room

**Royisamushroom24: **No Sir, you can't.

**Royisamushroom24: **Has left the room

**NOTaMushroomx: **Was that...Riza?

**HawtTallGuy92: **Yeah, I invited her awhile ago...

**ManamixAl: **Can I be Alphonse?

**HawtTallGuy92: **Sure! I wanna be Roy!

**NOTaMushroom92: **If your Roy, then I'm Ed!

**HaliGurl176: **Has entered the room

**HaliGurl176: Duuudes! Can I rp too?**

**NOTaMushroomx: **Who are you?

**HaliGurl176: Well, duh, Mushroom Head, I'm Hali.**

**NOTaMushroomx: **...I am not a mushroom head.

**HawtTallGuy92: **Y hallo thar, Hali.

**HaliGurl176: Eeeed! It appears you have grown taller...Virtually, of course.**

**HawtTallGuy92: **Yaaaay!

**ManamixAl: **Haaali! Huggles

**HaliGurl176: Squees and huggles back Anyways, I gots ta go, ya know, I gots fanfic's to write. But before I do...**

**HaliGurl176: **- S T A R T -

**HaliGurl176: **Has left the room

**ManamixAl: **Alphonse walked down the hallways of central, his GOLDEN ARMOR shining. All the girls nearby him swooned as he walked by. He took a few steps into Mustang's office, and waved to the mushroom head.

**NOTaMushroomx: **I AM NOT A MUSHROOM HEAD!

**HawtTallGuy92: **Roy put down the paper work he was currently using for fingerpainting. "Ah, hello, Alphonse. What brings you to my office today?" He said.

**NOTaMushroomx: **Ed walked in beside his brother, painting his nails a pretty pink color. His hair, was also dyed pink.

**HawtTallGuy92: **Yaay! Pink is such a pretty color! Roy stared at Ed, basking in his beauty. "Ed...You're so hawt and tall...Can you share your fashion tips with me, because I lack in everything?" Said Mustang.

**ManamixAl: **Al laughed heartily at the girlyness of Mustang. FOR HE WAS A MANLY MAN!

**NOTaMushroomx: **Ed giggled, and said, "TOTALLY, MUSTANG! YOU ARE SUCH A HOTTIE!" Offering to paint Roy's nails for him, but couldn't reach because he was too short.

**HawtTallGuy92: **GEEZ I AM NOT SHORTGOAWAYMUSTANGI'MLEAVING'CAUSEYOUSUCK!

**HawtTallGuy92: **Has left the room

**ManamixAl: **Brother! Don't go!

**NOTaMushroomx: **Fine, I'm leaving too, if thats how you want it.

**NOTaMushroomx: **Has left the room

**AlxManami: **Has entered the room

**ManamixAl: **GABBII!

**AlxManami: **AAAAL! Kisses to death //// 

**ManamixAl: ** 3 Kisses back

**HaliGurl176: Has entered the room**

**HaliGurl176: D: **

**Dismewk101392: **Has entered the room

**HaliGurl176: AAAARON! Snogs**

**Dismewk101392: **Gah! Snogged //// 

**HaliGurl176: **Steals Aaron

**HaliGurl176: Has left the room**

**Dismewk101392: **Has left the room

**AlxManami: **Steals Al

**AlxManami: **Has left the room

**ManamixAl: **Has left the room

------------

**Yes, and there you go. EVERYTHING ends happileh. :3 What happened after, though, is a secret. . . **

**Oh, and the reason why I am bold, is because I'm the authoress. So yeah.**


	5. Filllah!

**Dudes, I'm sorry 'bout the last chapter, just now I realized that doesn't let us do astericks. Thanks, Chii-sissy! Anyways, I'll get on with the chappie it'll be short, but only 'cause I'm at school. Aaand, this will be a filler, until I get more ideas.**

**HawtTallGuy92: **has entered the room

**ManamixAl:** has entered the room

**HawtTallGuy92: **Al, Al….I have a question.

**ManamixAl: **What is it, brother?

**HawtTallGuy92: **Well…we're using AIM now, right?

**ManamixAl: **Yeah….Why?

**HawtTallGuy92: **It's 1915, computers haven't been invented yet…

**ManamixAl: **Good point, brother…It's 'cause the authoress loves us, and sent us a computer from her time.

**HaliGurl176: Has entered the room**

**HaliGurl176: Aaaal! -Huggles and gives cell phone-**

**HawtTallGuy92: **What about me?

**HaliGurl176: NO COOL STUFFS FOR YOU!**

**ManamixAl: **…What's this?

**HaliGurl176: **Well, if you press the green button, you can call me!

**HawtTallGuy92: **Not fair!

**HaliGurl176: Pshh, fine… Gives Ed another phone-**

**HawtTallGuy92: **-Huggles phone- I'll hug it, and squeeze it, and name it Spootmuffin!

**HaliGurl176: **….Sure.

**NOTaMushroomx: **Has entered the room

**HaliGurl176: -Eats Roy-**

**NOTaMushroomx: **Has been eaten by the authoress

**HawtTallGuy92: **O.O

**ManamixAl: **Woah…Didn't know she could do that…

**HaliGurl176: Yes…Sorry, I was…Hungry. And Roy's a mushroom.**

**HawtTallGuy92:** I know, but next time share him with meee!

**HaliGurl176: Ed, you saying that makes all the EdRoy fangirls in the world squee with ideas. D:**

**ManamixAl: **BROTHER! I never knew!

**HawtTallGuy92: **D What?! Nu! Roy is a mushroom! That be like…Mushroomo'philia!

**HaliGurl176: Something like that…I know that the infatuation with plants is dendraphilia…**

**HawtTallGuy92: **…Why do you know that?

**HaliGurl176: …Well, it didn't involve that time I was reading Kingdom Hearts doujinshi…**

**ManamixAl: **O.o Well…I sure hope it didn't… 'Cause that would be scary, Sora's one of my best friends!

**HaliGurl176: AL! That's a spoiler for A Kingdom Hearts Tale! D:**

**HawtTallGuy92: **Which you need to take off of hiatus…

**HaliGurl176: DON'T JUDGE ME! I had the first chappie finished, but my friend came over and deleted it! She doesn't like anime or anything…And if you really want, I'll make a filler for you…**

**HaliGurl176: Has left the room**

**HawtTallGuy92: ** Bleh, I might as well leave too…

**HawtTallGuy92: **Has left the room.

**ManamixAl: **Brother! Wait!

**ManamixAl: **Has left the room.


	6. Potattooooo!

**Gah, so my computer died, and now I'm writing most of my fanfic chappies at school…**

**Sorry for the filler, here's the new chapter…**

Roy sat in the chair in his office, sleeping soundly. He woke up, and looked around.

There seemed to be flying nuns throwing potatoes at each other in his office.

Roy blinked, and looked in his mushroom corner.

Ed and Al were wearing gnome costumes, and cheering the nuns on.

"GO SALLY!" Ed shouted.

"NUN POWAAA!" Al screamed, throwing pixie dust on Roy's mushrooms.

Roy pinched himself, to make sure this wasn't another crazy dream.

It apparently wasn't.

Roy got up slowly, and went over to Ed and Al. They looked up.

"Can I have a pony?" Ed asked.

"I WANT JULIUS CEASAR!" Al screamed.

Roy blinked, then realized he had no legs. And a tail. A pink mermaid tail.

"GAH! ED, AL, WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!" The mermushroom screamed.

"Well, while you were asleep, I opened a can of ravioli…But the ravioli was magical, and transformed everything into MAGICAL CREATURES!

One of the flying nuns threw a potato at Roy.

"HEY!" Roy shouted.

"What'sa matter? Don't like potatoes either?" The nun taunted.

Suddenly, all the potatoes grew faces, and all magically had potato peelers.

They started peeling themselves, and jumped onto Roy's head.

"AAAAAHHH!" Roy woke up from his desk, there were now potatoes in the corner with the mushrooms. Roy looked down. He was still a mermushroom.

"DARNIT!" Roy screamed.

**O.o Don't ask what's with this chappie, I don't knowww….**


	7. Family time?

**:OO Two more reviews! Yaaaay! Anyways, thank you so much for reviewing, and giving me ideas…Hehehe… Idon'townFMAoranythingelseinanyway. Oh, and I'm dedicating this chapter to Meryl and Enpii.**

Ed and Al were sitting on a dock, on a lake. Al was fishing, and Ed slept, snoring rather loudly.

"Mph…Nuu…The milk…Hsss…-Snort- …Italian grape thieves…WHO ARE YOU, FERNANDOOO?!" Ed shouted, waking up. He clung to Al. "Aaall…F-Fernandooo…" He mumbled, shaking.

Al smacked Ed with the fish he caught earlier. Suddenly! They heard a familiar voice coming from somewhere behind them.

"HOHOHO! WHY HELLO THERE, BOYS! FANCEH MEETIN' YOU HERE!" They turned around, and saw Lust, Scar, and Wrath, all holding hands, and laughing strangely.

"HOOHOOHOO!" Scar laughed.

"HOHOHO!" Lust laughed.

"Tee-hee!" Wrath laughed.

"E-Eh?" Al stared. Ed looked at them sleepily, and laid back down to go to sleep.

"Brother! Don't fall asleep again!" Al said as he shook him.

"WE ARE A FAMILEEEH!" Scar, Lust, and Wrath all said at the same time, doing a little dance to go along with the screaming.

Suddenly! Roy popped out of the water, his mermushroom tail flopping on the dock next to Ed. "Colonel? Why are you still a mermushroom? I thought that was last chapter…" Al pondered. Wrath, Scar, and Lust started setting up a picnic.

"Oh, right then…" Roy said, in a brittish accent, and turned back to normal.

JUST THEN! Ed started dancing in his sleep. A giant disco ball came out of the water, and everybody started dancing.

"Disco boogie!" Al said.

**I just realized that I have peoples sleep a lot in this fic… Hm, strange… Also, I am starting a new fic, based on Roy's mermushroom-y-ness. :D**


	8. OO CPP!

**Gah, I dunno why I keep writing these at school…Maybe it's 'cause of the pretty colors and cool fonts I can get here...Anyways, I'm dedicating this chapter to Lexi. And Mr. Dead.**

**---**

Ed was looking up at the tree outside Roy's office. His head was tilted in a sort of contemplating way. He turned around, to see Al sitting near him, reading his new manga books.

"Al! Hey, Al! Come 'ere!" Ed shouted at him. Al looked up.

"What is it, brother?" He said, getting up and walking over.

"There is a…Dead chicken in that tree….Right?" Ed pointed. Sure enough there was. It was kinda hanging limply on one of the branches.

"…Yes. There is a dead chicken in that tree." Al replied, staring at it. SUDDENLY! Everybody's favorite family alchemist popped out of the well next to the tree that just happened to be there:OO

"WHY HALLO THAR YOUNG ALCHEMISTS!" He said.

"Armstrong!" Ed and Al said at the same time! Surely he would know why the chicken was in the tree! "Why is there a dead chicken in that tree?" They asked.

"Ohohoho! That's no tree, young Elrics, that's my oven! And I was making CPP!"

Ed and Al tilted their heads. "Oh…What's CPP?" They inquired.

"CHICKEN POT PIEEEE!" He shouted. He did a little dance that included his MermushroomMan doll.

"WHOOT! Can we have some?" Said the Elrics, still talking at the same time.

"WHY OF COURSE NOT!" Armstrong replied. "Now get out of my house." He said, pushing Ed and Al back into Roy's office.

"Aw…"

**Oh yes, he's Armstong, Armstrong…Lalalala-Ahem. Yeah, that's the chapterrr…**


	9. Buuullls

**Hihiii! I'm back, and I got a new chapter! I want a new, helicopter!  
Or something that rhymes with chapter.  
...Anyways, yeah. :3**

**This chapter is dedicated to my sissy, Chii. :D**

**Idon'townFMAoranythingelse**.---

Roy was in his office, trying to teach Black Hayate how to dance when he heard a loud moo-ing sound.

From outside his office. Soon after, a bull was pushed in by Ed and Al, both dressed like farmers.

"Ed, Al, what are you doing with that bull?" Roy asked, nervously.

"We'r'a gonna milk it!" Ed said, his voice in a country hick accent.

"And sell th' milk ta th' supermarket!" Al said, also in an accent.

"You can't milk bulls!" Roy said, as Black Hayate flew out the window.

"Why, sure you can! It has an udder, right?" Ed asked. Roy slammed his palm onto his forehead.

"YAY! Come on, brother, lets start milking the bull!" Al said.

"WAIT!" Roy yelled. They both looked at him.

"...What?" Ed asked.

"Bulls don't produce milk..." Roy replied.

"Then wha-" Al started.

"DON'T...Ask." Roy said. He started massaging his temples.

"Well...I know tons of people around the world who drink milk!" Al said.  
"We should start an awareness campaign! FOR THE KITTIES!" As Al said that, he and Ed rushed out of Roy's office, leaving the bull to munch on Roy's carpet.

Roy patted the bull and went back to his "paperwork."

-A FEW MOMENTS LATER-

"ROOOY! HELP US WITH OUR CAMPAIGN!" Ed shouted, somehow floating outside Roy's window.

"...Ed, how are you flying?" Roy asked.

"DON'T DOUBT THE RAVIOLI, ROY! Now help us!"

"...I'm busy."

"With your porn? I'll announce it to central of what you're reading if you don't help..."

"Fine, fine." Roy said, jumping out the window. A dawning thought came over him as he jumped.  
"Wait a minute...I can't fly..."

---

"And that's how Roy ended up with three broken bones, and in a bull suit!" Ed said, telling Riza what happened.

They were now at the hospital, and there was a mushroom looking bull sitting in one of the hospital beds,  
with a couple casts on his arms and legs.

----------

**Yup, most of the story was a flashback. :D **

**Sorry for the delay.**


	10. He can FLYY!

**Hey again, to make up for me not writing in a while, here's another chapter. **

**--Idon'townFMAoranythingelse—**

Black Hayate was sitting under Armstrong's oven!tree, looking up at Mr. Dead. His stomach growled with hunger, puppy eyes on full. You see, Riza had forgotten to feed him that morning, because she had slept over at Roy's house the previous night…

-Flashback-

Roy was at a bar, very late at night, and _very drunk._ He sang the barney song as Riza tried pulling on his arm to drag him out.

-End flashback.-

He looked in Roy's office window, and saw Ed opening a can of ravioli. Al was arguing with Roy.

"ED! Help me!" Al shouted, as Ed threw the ravioli out the window, and rushing over to help Al.

Black Hayate licked his lips and ran over to the open can of ravioli.

As he ate the ravioli, he started top get a out of flying sensation. He looked down, and he was flying, above the tree that Mr. Dead was in. He nudged Mr. Dead, who fell into the can of ravioli.

Suddenly, Mr. Dead's body started to glow a pinkish color, and started floating too. Haya-chan went over to Mr. Dead, grabbed his wing, and flew off with him into the sunset.

But didn't get that far, as the magical ravioli's effects wore off. Three yards from where they originally started.

----

**Note: No dogs or dead chickens were harmed in the writing of this fanfic.**


	11. PALM TREE!

**Dunno what to write here, as a beginning authors note/introduction….Thing, but oh well. **

**I shall say this for now.**

**Hi.**

**--Idon'townFMAinanyway.----**

Al and Ed were howling at the moon.

In broad daylight.

While Roy was setting off an airhorn every five seconds.

"…"Roy stopped blasting the air horn and looked at Ed and Al. "What are we doing, and how, exactly, you got me to do this?"

Ed shook his head. **Haha, rhymes. **"Roy, Roy, Roy…Roy Roy Roy. Roy?"

Roy gave him a blank look.

"It's a blue moon, so we're howling at it, and so the police don't come, we got you to blast the airhorn." Ed said, shaking his head. **:D **

"Ed…We ARE the police…Or technically…" Roy said, and went off to ponder his purpose in life.

SUDDENLY! A palm tree jumped out of the tree right above Ed and Al, landing on Al's head. "AAAH! THE TREE IS FALLING! THE TREE IS FALLING!" Al screamed as Ed poked the palm tree's leaves.

"Don't touch me." The palm tree said. Ed blinked. Al took it off his head and petted it.

"I said…Don't touch me." The palm tree said again, warningly.

Ed giggled, picked up Roy's airhorn, and blasted the palm tree with it.

"AAH! DEAFENING! MY EARS!" The palm tree screamed. Al took a bite of one of its leaves.

"….Why did you do that? I'M YOUR BROTHER!" Ed and Al gasped.

"TOM CRUISE?! I MISSED YOU! I see you turned into a palm tree…Always did look like one." Ed nodded.

The palm tree scowled.

**-----**

**For those of you who don't know, the palm tree Envy.**

**More family reunions next chapter.**


End file.
